I Don't Want To Fall To Pieces
by Ashi Ruby
Summary: A semi-AU KabuSaku one-shot songfic to Avril Lavigne's Fall To Pieces. Sakura soon learns the reasons behind Kabuto's actions and why his eyes only seem to follow her. "After all...I'm in love with you."


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the song Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne.

Author's Note: I know this song fits Sasuke and Sakura more, but I'm addicted to KabuSaku, so haha, it's KabuSaku! But who knows? I may make an AMV for SasuSaku to it later. Anyway, for now, enjoy this! Oh, and this is semi-AU. They are all still ninjas and stuff, but Kabuto isn't working for Orochimaru. Why? Because I hate Lord Oreo-Pedophile. -likes making nicknames for him-

I Don't Want To Fall To Pieces

_I looked away_

_Then I looked back at you_

I watched your eyes flicker towards the others, but they always land back on me. Always on me, as if I'm the only one of importance to stare at. Why is that?

And why am I doing the same? Why are you the only one I see? Not Naruto. Not Sasuke-kun. Only you.

_You try to say_

_The things that you can't undo_

I can see your lips move and hear your voice speak, but the words you want to say never escape them. I'm grateful for that however; I'm sure whatever it is will only bring an awkward situation for both of us. So we'll settle for staring, won't we? We'll just pretend that it's nothing odd; it's only natural to have eye contact when you're talking to someone. Right? Right.

_If I had my way_

_I'd never get over you_

That day so many weeks ago, when our eyes couldn't unlock even with the toughest key, I've only thought of you. That part of me, that little part of my heart that wouldn't shut up, wanted to see you again. But...after the Chunin exams, I haven't seen you at all. Where did you go?

Then I heard a painful piece of news. You were in the hospital, unconscious and critical. I placed on my sandals and ran as fast as I could to get to you, to see you.

_Today is the day_

_I pray that we make it through_

Please be all right...please be all right. Please let me be able to see your onyx eyes and beautiful smile.

_Make it through the fall_

_Make it through it all_

I rush into the hospital, my breath heavy from the running; I'm sure I lost at least five pounds running the four miles here. I shake my head, this isn't time to think about myself! I hurry over to the receptionist's desk, where the nurse behind it smiles at me calmly.

"Hello Sakura. What brings you here today? And are you all right? You look awfully pale."

"What room is...Kabuto Yakushi in? I heard...he was hurt."

"Kabuto Yakushi...?" the nurse said, not remembering the name. I inwardly growl as she turned to another nurse, asking her about you. I found myself begging for the answer soon; each moment was turning longer and longer and more of a torment on my aching heart.

"Kabuto Yakushi was the one brought in by Kakashi Hatake this morning in a critical condition. He was injured severely on a mission. I assume you know him, Sakura?" the second nurse said, in which I furiously nodded my head in response.

"Well, he's on the second floor in Room 215—Don't run Sakura!"

How could I not run? I know what the second floor was for. That was the critical ward. I've seen Naruto and Sasuke in there so many times. And now I'll see you there too...

I didn't bother trying to take the elevator, despite my tired state. The stairs were so much faster, although I took some time getting up them (falling would only waste more time than I wanted to). I turned down hallways to the critical hall, to your room.

I saw Kakashi-sensei standing outside, orange book in his hand. He perked his lone eye over the book, taking notice of me. I saw concern and comfort alit in that onyx orb, and I swore I saw a small smile through your mask. "You must have been desperate to come and see him, huh? Don't worry, you can see him in a few minutes. One of the nurses is changing his bandages right now," he told me, and I sigh with a bit of relief.

I lean up against the wall, next to him, and waited as patiently as I could (which wasn't much) for the door to open and the nurse to say it was all right for visitors to come in. During this time, Kakashi-sensei told me the story of what happened (damn rogue ninja and their lack of hearts) and how Naruto and Sasuke-kun already visited and gave him a hard time (which, I had to admit, hearing Sasuke-kun call anyone other than Naruto a dobe was funny).

The door finally opened and the nurse smiled, "You can go in. Kabuto-san's awake again."

Oh how those words made me smile! I follow Kakashi-sensei into the room, my heart beating rapidly.

You turn your head towards the door, a small smile formed on weak lips. "Hello again Kakashi-san. I guess you brought the book I wanted?" you ask, your voice shallow and tired.

"Yeah. I brought you a book of crossword puzzles as well. In case you get extremely bored," Kakashi-sensei said, a bit of smile showing through the mask again as he pulled out the before said items from a pouch on his belt, "And you have another visitor."

Our eyes lock again and my breath catches in my throat. Your smile grows a little more, "Sakura-san."

I could only nod my head in response, unable to speak properly. It was like that day long ago...you could only stare at me. No one else but me.

And I could only do the same.

You motion towards a chair beside your bed, and I make my ways towards it. "You look so tired, Sakura-san. Please don't tell me you ran all the way here." I nod my head again and you sigh, "I'm not dying, you know. Tsunade-sama did an excellent job in healing me. There was no need to exhaust yourself like that."

"When I heard you were in a critical condition...I couldn't help it. I was worried Kabuto-san," I said softly. You only sigh again, your hand resting gently on mine, "Thanks for caring."

My body stiffened, the words I wanted to say gone, leaving only blanks in my mind.

_And I don't want to fall to pieces_

_I just want to sit and stare at you_

Kakashi-sensei cleared his throat, "Am I interrupting a private moment between you two?" My cheeks turn a dark red and I turn my head quickly, "N-no!" He only chuckled, clearly enjoying my embarrassment.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Ugh, those books of yours have warped your mind."

"Harmless literature, Sakura. However, as much as I would love to stand here and tease you, I have to meet Naruto and Sasuke for training. Glad to see you awake again, Kabuto. Have fun."

_**'Pervert,'**_ I heard my inner self say as we watched him disappear with a "poof." Seriously, can't he use the door like everyone else? I guess it's only when he wants to. Oy...

"Sakura-san."

I turn back around at the call of my name. "Yes?" I question, watching you as you stare at me. Your hand squeezes mine, "Is something wrong?"

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

I shake my head no, "No, nothing's wrong! Why would you suspect there being anything wrong?" Your eyes showed doubt; you could tell I was lying, right?

"You were really worried about me, weren't you?"

_I just want to cry in front of you_

I only nodded my head, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes. Your hand moves from mine to my cheek, caressing my skin and wiping away the ones that stared to fall.

"Thank you," you whisper. And somehow, I knew what you meant. No more words were said after that.

_I don't want to talk about it_

An hour past, and I left the hospital; I had to get back home in time for dinner with my visiting grandmother. I only thought of you as I made my walk back, my steps slower in the lack of energy I had left.

It was after I got home, looking towards the direction of the hospital, did I realize something I never thought of before. The reason why I stared at you. However, I denied it; I mean, I couldn't be! I shake the thought from my head and enter my house, becoming eagerly greeted.

_'Cause I'm in love with you_

It's been three days since then, and sadly I've became extremely busy with training that I have been unable to see you. I've thought of you often to the point of distraction, as Tsunade-sama had put it.

"Sakura? Is there something troubling you?"

"No. I'm just tired, that's all."

"Are you sure? You seem so out of it these past few days."

"I'm just tired. There's nothing to really worry about, Tsunade-sama."

She looked at me unconvinced, but she smiled and gave me the rest of the day off to get some rest. I contemplated visiting you after that, but I didn't have time to act on it when Tsunade-sama assigned Shizune to escort me home. Just had to make sure I got back, huh?

It was all right though...I was still content in hearing news from Shizune that you were making a great recovery and should be released from the hospital by the middle of next week. Once home, I spend the rest of the day thinking of you, although by late night I'm busy away studying. Somehow or another though I fell asleep.

The next thing I knew was the sound of small rocks hitting my window. I woke up with a startle at the sound and rushed over to it, opening and going out onto my balcony to look down.

"Kabuto-san!"

You were standing there, tossing a rock in your hand with a bit of smirk formed on your lips. "What are you doing? You should still be in the hospital!" I called down to you. You only shrugged your shoulders, "I feel fine. Come on, let's go to the park."

"The park?"

"Yeah."

I still questioned your sudden interest in going to the park, but I decided not to start an argument and quickly grabbed my sandals and made my way downstairs to meet you. Your smirk formed into a smile when I shut the door behind me. "Why do you want to go to the park, Kabuto-san? You know, I should escort you right back to the hospital," I said, trying to sound firm.

"I feel fine. In fact, I'll probably be released from the hospital tomorrow. Why not get an early start?" you said with a bit of a laugh, "Besides, I heard from Shizune-san you've been a little stressed out, so I thought that I would help." I could feel my cheeks heat up with a dark blush as you continue to smile at me, "W-well, training can be hard with Tsunade-sama. She's a strict teacher. It's only natural to get stressed out." You chuckle, "True. I must remember, you are her apprentice, and she would be extremely tough on you. Well, then a walk in the park is a perfect way to relieve that stress."

I really wished you would stop saying things like that; my cheeks were already burning.

I followed your lead as we got to the park, seemingly going a different way than the normal. "Where are we going Kabuto-san?" I asked, curious about the path we were taking. You only smiled and grabbed my hand, "You'll see." I tried my best to prevent that ever creeping blush from staining my cheeks again as you led me this way and that. I soon noticed that we were no longer in the park, but in the training grounds. You found a spot by one of the trees and started to sit down.

I gasped when you pull me down to sit beside you, your hand still holding mine. "Ah, here we are. Perfect," you said with a bit of chuckle. I look up at you curiously as you stare up at the sky.

"The stars are beautiful, aren't they Sakura-san? I often come here to look at the stars."

"Is that why you snuck out of the hospital?"

"Somewhat," you said, looking back at me, "Like I told you, I wanted to help you relax, and staring out at the stars is the best way to unwind." I smiled as I look away, up at the sky, "I guess so."

"Is something wrong Sakura-san?" you ask, onyx eyes alit in confusion. I shake my head no, continuing to look up at the sky. "No...everything is all right," I reply, squeezing your hand. You smile and join me in watching the stars.

You were right; it's a great way to relieve stress. But what made it better was being with you.

_You're the only one_

_I'd be with 'til the end_

I woke up in my bed early next morning, and I knew that you carried me back home. I smiled brightly at the thoughts of last night, and I couldn't wait visiting hours at the hospital to see you (if you went back after bringing me home).

A crash echoed downstairs, followed by a loud, piercing scream. I jump out of my bed and ran towards the source.

The sight scared me more than anything else could. "Dad!" I screamed, rushing quickly to his side and lifting him gently from the floor.

He was bleeding from multiple places, some almost gushing the crimson liquid, while glass shards protruded from his arms and legs. "Dad! Dad, what happened?" I asked, terrified. His eyes opened slighly, "The window..." I look over at the window, noticing the broken glass.

Then I remembered. Dad was putting in new glass for the windows.

I tried my best to pick him up, but he was too heavy for my frame to carry, and sadly I haven't had much training into developing physical strength with Tsunade-sama. "Hold on, Dad! I'm going to get some help! Just hold on!" I explain, my voice high in panic as I reached for the phone and dialed the first number that came to mind.

"Oy, pick up already...Kakashi-sensei? It's Sakura! I need your help! Please come over as fast you can! My dad's hurt!"

An hour and a half later, I'm outside of the critical surgery ward, hands bunched together tightly as tears rolled down my cheeks. My dad was hurt badly; Tsunade-sama took on the case personally, telling me it would be all right. I believed her, of course, but still...it was my father in that room, injured and in serious pain.

"Sakura-san?"

I look up and through my teary eyes I see you. "Sakura-san, what's wrong?" you ask, sitting down beside me as tears continued to fall.

"M-my dad...he's i-in th-there..."

"What happened?"

"Th-there was an accident as h-he was putting in new gl-glass for the windows..."

I didn't have a chance to say anything more as you gently wrapped your arms around me, pulling me close. One hand ran through my hair soothingly as your other rubbed my back comfortingly. I said nothing more, allowing myself to cry into your chest.

It felt like hours had past when my tears finally stopped and I pulled away. You smiled at me, "I'll pick you up tonight, all right?" I nodded, knowing that you were going to take me to the training grounds again, to stare at the stars. You stand up, ruffle my hair a bit with words of well-wishing for my dad, and walk away. I smile a little bit as I watch you disappear; somehow in the wake of a painful tragedy I found one comforting light.

_When I come undone_

_You bring me back again_

My dad had to stay in the hospital overnight, as I expected, living me to stay at home alone while my mother was out visiting my aunt in a small village outside of Suna. I smile despite the loneliness; you were going to come soon. I awaited the sound of tapping on the door or rocks against my window.

It was almost 9:00 when I heard the taps and I instantly answered. Without a word, you took my hand and led the way, only resting when we reached the grounds.

We sit down by the same tree, your arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me close. My cheeks burn; I wasn't expecting the close contact twice in a day. Soon though, I relaxed and looked up at the sky in content.

_Back under the stars_

_Back into your arms _

"Is your dad all right?"

"Yeah. Tsunade-sama said that everything turned out well, and that he'll be able to go home tomorrow evening."

"That's good. At least the accident wasn't so bad."

_And I don't want to fall to pieces_

_I just want to sit and stare at you_

I look up at you, my voice silent as I stared at those beautiful onyx orbs. Eyes that showed so much, but for some odd reason only seemed to shine for me. I never seen your eyes glow in the way they do for me towards anyone else.

"Is there something on my face, Sakura-san?" you ask with a chuckle, catching me staring at you. I blush, looking away quickly as you laughed. I felt your chest shake against my back and I smiled; I decided I like being against you when you laughed.

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

We became silent and peaceful, staring up at the sky. I heard your heartbeat in my ear, bringing me comfort that I never felt before. I closed my eyes and lean against you a little more.

"Thank you...Kabuto-san."

"For what?"

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

I say nothing more as I sigh through my curved lips. I knew you wanted to pursue the topic, but stayed silent as you held me close. No words were needed now.

I started to realize that my thought those days ago was more than possible. That one lingering thought on how we have to feel towards one another.

_'Cause I'm in love with you_

The days went on and on, and soon we became inseparable. As our friends often put it, there was barely a time when they saw us alone. No, it was always together.

The question game began to start between us. With each day that past, we became close.

_Wanna know who you are_

"How can you hate horror movies?" you asked me, "They are awesome." I stuck out my tongue, "To guys, yeah they are. But to girls, they can be frightening as hell. I prefer comedies and chick flicks." You make a motion of gagging at the sound of chick flicks. "How can you hate chick flicks?" I ask mockingly, "They are awesome."

_Wanna know where to start_

"Ack!" I yelled, dropping the tray of cookies on the stove top before placing my burnt finger in my mouth. You raise a thin, silver brow at me, "Don't tell me...you burned yourself again." I glare at you, finger still in my mouth as you start to laugh.

"Meh, you'll get better. Come over here; we'll start making these cookies next."

_I wanna know what this means_

"You know...not every story has a moral," you said as you found me reading a book intently. I look up and smile, "This one does. Love is a magical thing that can happen in just five minutes." You only sigh through a smile and ruffle my hair slightly as you sit down beside me. "You're such a hopeless romantic," you said mockingly.

_Wanna know how you feel_

"Sakura-san!" you yell, but I didn't stop. I ran as fast as I could away from you, yelling at myself for being such an idiot. You keep yelling my name, voice desperate and footsteps following, but I don't turn around.

I saw you caught in a liplock with my former best friend and rival, Ino.

That hurt so much. Sure, we weren't together or anything, but still...it hurt to see the guy I fell in love with kissing another girl, especially one that had been my rival in almost everything.

You continued to follow me, so I started to run in multiple directions in hopes of making you give up the chase.

Sadly...I wasn't expecting to trip and fall, nor for you to do the same. The last thing I wanted was this compromising position.

"Sakura-san, why were you running away from me?"

_Wanna know what is real_

"Get off of me, Yakushi."

"Why are you using my last name?"

"I said get off of me," I repeat, moving my hands to your chest to push you off. You grasp my wrists and pull us both up into a sitting position. "Tell me what's wrong, Sakura-san," you say firmly as I look to the side, away from your beautiful orbs and firm grasp on my wrists.

"Let me go...I rather not have Ino come after me because of our position," I muttered. "Why are you worried about Ino? I doubt she would care," you said, voice thick with confusion. "It's not right for a girl's boyfriend to be with another girl like this."

"Boyfriend? Did something go wrong in your brain, Sakura-san?"

"Well, you have to be her boyfriend. You freaking made out with her!" I yelled, standing up and pulling myself out of your grip, my emerald eyes becoming blurry as tears started to form.

_I wanna know everything_

_Everything_

"First off, Ino and I are NOT together. Secondly, we did not make out," you tell me, although I am far from convinced. I start to turn around to run away, but you were much faster as your arms wrapped around my waist to keep me still. "Sakura-san...Ino kissed me. I didn't want that, trust me," you say softly, your lips close to my ear. I shudder as your warm breath caressed the outer shell. Your arms tighten around my waist. "She asked me who I loved. She became jealous when I told her who it was, and tried to convince me otherwise," you continue; that was supposed to convince me how?

You turn me around, those beautiful orbs staring at me, "She was jealous that her rival beat her in something else." My breath hitch in my throat; I'm the one?

_I don't want to fall to pieces_

_I just want to sit and stare at you_

"Kabuto-san..." I whispered your name so softly as my voice wanted to die out. "Sakura-san...have you ever thought that the things we've done meant something more?" you ask me, "I've never gone to another's house to pick them up just to go look at the stars. I've never held another girl close to me."

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

"I've never had the urge to stare anyone in the eyes as I have you. I've never been so content in just being quiet."

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

"I've never had the urge to comfort anyone like I have comforted you. I hate to see you cry for any reason, and I always want to be the one to make you stop."

_And I don't want to fall to pieces _

_I just want to sit and stare at you _

_I don't want to talk about it_

I could only stare at you as you spoke, those words I can tell are true. One of your hands come to my cheek, wiping away the dripping tears from my face. "Like now," you whispered, a lone finger trailing down my skin as if trying to erase the trails the liquid left.

_And I don't want a conversation_

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_'Cause I'm in love with you_

Gently you tilt up my chin and placed your lips on mine. I stood still, frozen in shock. You...you kissed me. My first kiss is you...

You are slow and calm, coaxing and waiting for my response. I smile ever slightly against your lips as I obeyed, closing my eyes as I did. After all...

_I'm in love with you_

_'Cause I'm in love with you_

"I love you."

My breath catches in my throat at the sound of those words. Now I officially knew...the feeling that I felt all that time ago was true. I smiled at you, "Kabuto-kun..." Oh, I loved how that sounded. I believe that will be the perfect name for you.

_I'm in love with you_

"I love you too."

My lips meet yours firmly again, my heart fluttering and my stomach untangling knots. Ever since the day our eyes locked to the right here and now, I knew what that feeling was.

_I'm in love with you _

Wow. 11 pages and over 4000 words! My longest one-shot fic ever. But well worth it!

Yes, I do admit that Kabuto is OOC, but I'm sure that if he wasn't working for Lord Oreo-Pedophile he would be a lot sweeter. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! Long live KabuSaku and the name of Medicshipping!


End file.
